The teachings on modesty can be quite intimidating especially for people who are hearing something contrary to what they believed. This was the case for me; I always thought that I was a modest person. I had much to learn.
I was born and raised Roman Catholic. Did I know my faith? I thought I did! In fact, I am still learning.
I grew up wanting to be a world-renowned fashion model. My dad was always praying for me and his prayers put a stop to my dreams. His prayers were for my protection and he did the right thing although I did not understand this when I was young. It wasn't until I reached the age of forty when, after many falls and trials in my faith and in my life, I took on a Spiritual Director.
I am decidedly pro-modesty! I certainly understand people's emotional responses when I speak about the topic. Their reactions are like mine were when my Spiritual Director, Father Bernard Heffernan (may he rest in peace), in Peterborough, Canada challenged me about modest dress. Generally people, and perhaps especially women, can get angry when challenged because we are sensitive to criticism. I also think that most people believe they are modest in their appearance. O how I understand their defensive reactions! People will avoid any conversation on the topic thinking it is not worth the grief. However, if we have the intention of being pleasing to God, and want to know the truth of the matter, we have a responsibility to talk about this and to obey the teachings of the Church. I have learned that one of the nine ways to sin is to be silent. Silence on modesty is no longer viable.
So then, why is it that men are intrigued by women? Did God make us this way? Could it be a fundamental part of God's design? There is so much to say on this. It has been a great study for me. Let us begin with the Holy Bible.
There is this passage from Matthew 5:28: "But I say to you, that whosoever shall look at a woman to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart." A lady is a woman who displays her virtues, wrapped up in modesty, so that she may not be mistaken for anything less. Modest dress would go a long way to circumvent so many problems in relations between men and women.
Is it acceptable to look if we do not touch? Even Job (31:1) understood this was sinful. He exercised the practice of keeping custody of the eyes. "I made a covenant with my eyes, that I would not so much as think upon a virgin." When it comes to the passions, what is seen with the eyes gets imprinted in the memory. Even if one wanted to erase it, one would not be able to.
The Church teaches that proper attire is of great importance because we do not want to stir up emotions or impressions in others that are better left dormant. Our first consideration should always be what God has spoken through His Church. We are to follow the guidelines taught by the Church.
In the Catechism of the Catholic Church (published in 1992), number 2521, we read: "Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity." The next number reads: "Modesty is decency. It inspires one's choice of clothing."
The pope supported Cardinal Siri in 1960 when he warned us of the pitfalls of women wearing pants, especially the form fitting styles so common today. Deuteronomy 22:5 "A woman shall not be clothed with man's apparel, neither shall a man use women's apparel; for he that doeth these things is abominable to God."
Not only is wearing pants immodest, it also corrupts the natural roles of woman, mother and wife. Now the woman is competing with her husband and men on a multitude of levels and attracting the eyes and emotions of others toward herself that should belong to the marital relationship alone.
In the past, there was a contrast between Christians and pagans: "The higher standards and stricter conduct in relation to Christian women is constantly used as apologetic for the truth of the Christian message."
I am so very grateful to my late father and my late Spiritual Director. May they rest in peace, Amen.
Michelle Landry